Have you ever, much like Cher only minus the fishnets, leather (pleather, possibly?) and wiggage, wondered if you could turn back time and tweak some of the clunking mistakes of pastures past? Would you really want to time-travel back and right some of the wrongs of your life or are you defiantly of the je-ne-regrette-rien school of living? Personally, I believe in the latter and I say that as someone who once thought gingham hotpants, a T-shirt bearing the ever-so-tasteful legend “I Wanna Be Your Toy” topped off with an Hermès scarf worn jauntily as a bandana was sensible Saturday night attire – tragically, I’m not making this up – so therefore have much more reason than most to harbour regretful reflection.

For me, your mistakes make you who and what you are and gift you experience, even those that shape your life in a seemingly negative way, forever sometimes, give something positive even if it isn’t immediately apparent. And anyway who could be bothered revisiting the nervy worrying of your teens and twenties and all that will-he-won’t-he-ring? business or all the endless agonising over what you look like? It’s just too exhausting if you ask me. Judas Kiss, though, takes a different tack as its anti-hero does a Kylie and steps back in time and tries to set his younger self on a better track than he himself actually took.

Zach (Charlie David) is a chain-smoking, fresh-out-of-rehab, washed-up filmmaker who Hollywood has chewed up and spat out. Realising that Zach is increasingly disillusioned, his bezzie, Topher (Troy Fischnaller), puts him forward to be a judge for a film competition at their alma mater, the aptly-named Keystone University, which as the campus’ mysterious gofer/Merlin, Old Man Welds (Dale Bowers) – think Doc Brown from Back To The Future only less wizard-haired – keeps intoning holds the key (geddit?) to Zach’s future.

Things don’t get off to a terribly promising start, though, because on his first night at uni he does what most students do on their virgin nuit away – apologies in advance to any parents reading this who’ve just said a tearful ta-ra to their little brainbox cherubs, but I’m afraid it’s true – and promptly shags a stranger, which would be fine; after all, they’re both adults consenting to some harmless one-night stand naughtiness. The trouble is the one-night stand in question turns out to be an entrant in the film competition Zach is judging and, worse still, he’s the red-hot favourite to win.

This isn’t the only bizarre ‘coincidence’ because said one-night stand also has the same pre-Hollywood, real name as Zach, Danny Reyes (Richard Harmon), and even more freakily the title of the film Zach entered into the same competition years before when he was an undergraduate, Judas Kiss, is also the title of Danny’s short. If all this wasn’t enough Sliding Doors spookiness, then there’s more because Zach and Danny both cheated to get their films considered for the competition as neither entry was written in the time period stipulated for eligibility.

Of course, nothing about this weird chain of events is coincidental. The narrative is placed in that fictional kink in the time/space continuum whereby a protagonist gets to flip back to see their former self and change how their present-day life pans out and here’s what first impresses about the film. It doesn’t do that time teleportation thing with mad professor crappy cars or that sci-fi stalwart of vaporising around in the ether. Instead, it does it subtly without any bell’n’whistles fanfare and as a result is much effective at reeling you into this alternate reality that could quite easily have ended up too kids’-movie implausible. As the storytelling is handled so well the film is that much more affecting.

On top of that, the performances are also pretty affecting. That will come as something of a shock to a certain Charlie David – not that I flatter myself actors actually read my reviews – because let’s just say I’m not exactly the biggest fan of his acting approach. To put it more bluntly, I’ve found the performances he’s given in such clucking turkeys as A Four Letter Word and Mulligans to be as excruciating as watching a dog frot your Nan’s leg. Here, though, his anti-naturalistic style – come on, I’m trying to be nice – works because the film itself isn’t naturalistic so it’s kind of a good fit. Plus, he’s got long hair in this and as someone with serious Hair Envy – it’s a recognised condition, I’ll have you know; mine if it wasn’t shaved would look like a blond Annie, which really would make for a hard-knock life – goes a heck of a long way towards winning me over.

Harmon as Zach’s younger self is utterly enthralling; by turns cocky, diffident, world-weary and naïve. It doesn’t hurt any that he’s absolutely swoonsome with darkly Gothic, vampiry good looks that are so very on-trend at the moment. Also, shoutout-worthy is Julia Morizawa as Danny’s producer/best mate who takes the role of your hackneyed, hapless fag hag – yes, I know, I hate the term, too, but it’s sadly and sexistly what a lot of queer cinema reduces female characters to – and transforms her into a feisty, funny, whatevs-saying no-nonsenser who tells it like it is.

Judas Kiss isn’t perfect. The script could have done with a little attention; the scene where a character talks about needing a poo should have been red marker’d out pretty pronto. Some of the plotting is a bit off; for instance, the cheat the two main characters share in common to get what they want is weak to say the least. It won’t set the zeitgeist alight, either; it’s too trope-ridden and template-following to tread any real new turf. That said, the film does have a definite charm about it, which in my book is a very big tick in its favour. Not great, but still a steady B+.

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Judas Kiss [2011]
Studio: TLA Releasing
Released: 7 November 2011
ASIN: B005J4X94Q 

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